I bumped into an acquaintance yesterday, a gentleman I had not seen is a few years. I asked about his family. He asked about my husband. We chatted about cars and the weather and the news – but we both felt the elephant in the room.
I noticed he chose his words carefully, even stopping mid-sentence and re-phrasing. He started to ask “How is the fam….. – How is your husband?”
I smiled and pretended not to notice. He was avoiding making any reference to my son. I know he knows of our loss – and I know he was trying to be considerate.
Why is it that way? Kind, caring people gingerly step around the elephant in the room. Is it because they don’t know what to say? Is it because they are afraid of upsetting me?
I am grateful for the dear friends and family in my life who invite me to talk and share about my son. I will always be his MOM and I will always miss him and I will always love him. I need to talk about him. When I walk and speak with my Heavenly Father, we chat about my dear son often – HE listens. I know HE does.
Does anyone else notice this elephant avoidance behavior?
GatherStones 
This is all natural. Sometimes people dont know what to say..sometimes we dont know how to react.
May God be with you. Amen.
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Thank you
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Thanks on behalf of Paw Paw Dale 🙂
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Sorry wrong comment 🙈
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My experience is that people genuinely don’t know what to say, and the other side of that is, they don’t know how to deal with grief. Death also is a reminder that they too, are mortal. It really is more about them than you
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Thank you – you are right
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A very close and dear friend of mine lost her son a few years back. One of the things I noticed when we were out in public was that people did skirt the topic of her son. It actually hurt her that people were afraid of mentioning his name.
She told me that she wants people talking about him. Because it brings back the wonderful memories of his life. So when we were out shopping those little things we saw that he would have liked were discussed. There may have been a tear but they were joyful ones.
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Yes, joyful tears – my heart is with her. Thank you for sharing and being there for you friend
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